What You See Is What You Get?

Had a humbling day on Thursday.  After attending a chamber networking event I decided to go out to breakfast.  I love to support the local, small businesses in our community so I ventured over to one of my favorites.  It was 9 am so the breakfast rush was gone.  Other than one table of regulars I had the place to myself.  That meant that I could engage the waitress in more meaningful conversation than regularly during a rush.

Before I could say much, she asked me if she knew me from somewhere.  I thought she looked familiar but before I could say anything she said "Rukos" you come in on Sunday mornings!"

She was right, that is a restaurant I will frequent on Sunday mornings after the church is open and things set up.  I take my iPad and go over my message notes one last time.  So I said she was right and that I'm a pastor and I go there to review my message for the day.

Then she, without hesitation, cut me to the quick, she said, "Yeah I thought you were just a jerk!"  She then proceeded to explain hat she meant.  She would try to be very attentive to me when waiting on me, asking if my meal was Ok, and if I wanted more coffee.  Her comment was, I'm glad you have explained what you were doing because you always seemed so not pay any attention to me, so I just assumed you were a jerk."

She then perked up and explained how she was looking for a church, wanted to know the worship times, do we have anything for kids - really interested.  And while I was excited at the prospect of a new family coming to The Grove, her comments, "I thought you were "just a jerk" was ringing in my ears. Unfortunately she isn't the first person to sarcastically say that I am a bit too serious or focused on Sunday mornings.  While I may feel justified because I want things to go right and especially want to be all I can be, I guess I can come off as "just a jerk".

So I've determined in my mind, and resolved in my heart to be more attentive, loosen up, and relax more.  God redeemed a relationship that had no chance of being a valid witness for Christ as long as I was presenting myself this way.  Pray for me - and for this young woman and family that we can laugh about this as her family gets reconnected to the body of Christ.

The Jerk

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God — even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved."
(1 Cor. 10:31-33)

Mother's Day

It's been too long since I wrote and hope to get back on track. Thought I'd use this great occasion to share some things. Facebook has exploded with all of the normal sentiments connected with this day. Post a picture of your mom as your profile picture in honor of having a great mom - etc. I think a better thing to do is to take the essence of what your mother taught you (providing it was godly and healthy) and then live it out. I know I'm taking umbrage with this scripture but "let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father which is in heaven."

My mom taught me that as a Christian man I would be viewed by some as peculiar - that I may receive some persecution because of my choice to be a follower of Jesus - that I must make choices every day consistent with what I believe. One of the best examples of excellent mothering was making sure I sat my butt in church every week. The rule - until the age of 18 it was my parents choice about whether I went to church or not. I vowed when I was 16 that when that day came, I was all done with church. But my parents were consistent and persistent and their rule put me in a place where God nurtured my rebellious spirit and by age 17 I already felt a call to ministry.

I so wish that parents today would stop trying to keep their kids happy - stop taking the path of least resistance and let their children decide what was important for them. They enroll them in every activity and sport possible and then let them decide about their spiritual future. What's up with that?

Another thing my mother did for me was to help me be independent. I started mowing lawns, shoveling walks, at age 13. Got my first real job as a maintenance guy at the local five and dime when I was 14. I bought my own clothes and paid my way into everything I wanted to do. Had to pay cash for my first car - cover my own insurance - pay for the maintenance and repairs - and if cell phones were around then - I would have had to pay my own way there as well. Thanks Mom (and Dad) for that guidance.

Mom has been gone for several years now. She had kind of checked out after her stroke but there was just something about being able to be around her that soothed me. Wish I still had those times with her - missed her little comments like "if wishes were horses we'd all take a ride", or "cripes on a bicycle" - can't wait to see her in heaven.

God has blessed me with another godly woman that teaches me so much about an active faith walk. We are enjoying our 40th year together as husband and wife. She has done remarkable things in raising our two daughters and now loves her role as "Grammie". Thank you Lord for our moms, may we honor them today by living for You!

It's Time to DTR

I love the journey that The Grove has begun this year. We are taking the Old Testament Challenge - 32 weeks in a survey of the OT. So far we've been reminded of the majesty of God our creator; watched the downward spiral of man (Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, The Flood, Babel) and now we begin our look at God and His covenant that He made with Abraham.

God has a conversation with Abraham requiring him to DTR - "Define The Relationship".

Think back to your dating years. When a young man and a young woman begin to hang out together – eventually one or the other – usually the young lady will say – “we have to talk.” Now guys you know what happens next! Your hands get sweaty – you start to click through all the things you said, or did, or try to figure out what maybe you didn’t say or didn’t do.

But what she is saying is, I need to know if there is a commitment here. It’s time to fish, or cut bait. We need a DTR. We need to define the relationship.

What is your relationship with Jesus. Is it casual? Dating other gods? Or are you committed to the one true God? Hope you can be at The Grove tomorrow - or listen to our podcast at www.grovechurch.cc.

Jeff

Long Time

I began a new series yesterday at The Grove called SE7EN - it's based on the 7 Deadly Sins.

I am challenged by this series. I should be. Anytime I share what God has put on my heart I should be looking into my own. The premise I am basing this series on is how the 7 Deadly Sins even originated. St. Benedict, the predecessor of the monastic life, surmised that love is the supreme objective for Christians and that anything that sets itself up against love is our enemy. Thus he identified 7 sins that he thought were the most egregious and thus the list.

So, how am I doing in the love department? Some days I would say great - others not so. But as I look even closer I realize that so many times my love has conditions. How selfish you can be Jeff!

So as I began this series and focued on Pride and our life growth groups will be doing the same this week - my desire for me and for you is that we will decrease in the pride department and increase in the humility. In case you missed the service, you can listen to our podcast through our website at www.grovechurch.cc.

Also, Grovers were challenged to take a look at the list below and identify one action step they could integrate into their life this week to become more humble. Hope this challenges you - it certainly does me.

Here's Nelson Searcy's adaptation of St. Benedict's 12 Steps of Humility:

12 Actions of Humility

1. Intentionally seek humility as an act of obedience

2. Seek God’s will above my own will (John 6:38)

3. Confess your sins to God quickly (1 John 1:9)

4. Persevere through sickness and affliction quietly (Romans 8:37)

5. Study God’s word and live it out daily.

6. Practice praising and complimenting others

7. Use my gifts and talents to serve others

8. Plan regular times of fasting

9. Be a friend to others who are going through humbling times

10. Restrict my sarcasm

11. Speak gently and practice silence

12. Be modest in my appearance and actions.

Until the next time,

I remain in His Grip!

What Next?

I titled this blog "What Next" because I have found myself once again in the unenviable position of trying to figure out which voice is yelling the loudest at me - because - let's be truthful - that's the one you do next!

When I'm teaching at Indiana Wesleyan University I teach a course to prepare new, non-traditional students, how to be successful in their college experience. One of the exercises is time management. Many of them are single parents or young parents - but it doesn't really matter what your circumstance - because we have all filled our lives so full of things to do that when something really important comes along we may not have time for it!

So in the few minutes I have after this blog and before my next meeting, I am going to sit down and begin the process of clearing some things from my to do list and declare a moratorium on adding anything other than emergencies.

A couple things I am excited to do in the next few days is to sit down and listen to The Ministry Seminar that is my homework for next week's tele-coaching time and continue my reading of "Simply Strategic Volunteers - Empowering People for Ministry". Maybe some of the stuff that truly is important could be handled by someone else - what a novel thought!

Pray for me - I'd pray more for you but I'm too busy doing stuff! (Kidding I pray for you!)

Til next time - if I can find the time - I remain in His Grip!

One Month To Live

What would you do differently if you had one month to live? Would your priorities change? Spend more time at the office? Buy that sports car you've always wanted? The truth is you would be radically transformed by the news that 30 days from now you won't be around!

I bet you would spend more time with family and friends; that you would say I love you more often; say I'm sorry to someone (or a bunch of someones); draw closer to your creator!

Why wait til you get the news? Why not start living a no regrets lifestyle?

Starting this Sunday, January 31st, and during the next six weeks, I am going to try my hardest to help friends and family at The Grove to live a life full of life, and to re-order our lives with a Godly perspective. I hope you will join us. Check out this video from the CBS Early Show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxgZLdEFt74

Would You Give Me Your Kidney?

This week I've been confronted with stories where someone has done this.

Good friends through Koinonia, Tom and Marty Stefanek, made this decision just 2 days ago. Tom's brother Dennis was in need so Tom gave him a kidney. I would like to think that if my brother or sister needed a kidney that I would give one up. I mean they are family! But I still think it is a huge decision that is made out of a love and trust of God that anyone could do this.

The second instance was in reading the testimony of a man in California who was talking about his decision to start attending church regularly and then join a small group. He had all the reservations most people have about going to church regularly and even more reservations about attempting to break into the intimate fellowship of a small group. But God impressed on him to go, and he did.

A short time later one of the other guys in the group shared that he needed a kidney. On the way home from the small group, the newbie felt God prompting him to give him one of his kidneys. He shared with his wife what he thought - she was concerned. But she found relief in the fact that the odds were against them being a good match and left it alone. Her husband proceeded to check further without the other man knowing. He was a match - an almost perfect match. So after group several months after first sharing, this man told him his plans to give him a kidney. 3 weeks following the surgery took place - one year later both men are doing great - no complications.

There are two reasons why I chose to write about this today. First, in this ever growing cynical, pessimistic culture we live in, I was moved by such profound love for a fellow human. Second, because I believe that this is what can happen in a small group when people are moved by God. It obviously means we get of the topic of weather and the kids and get down to the real nitty gritty of life.

Would you give me a kidney? I hope I don't have the need in the future - but if I did - my prayer is that life growth groups at The Grove are nurturing people in such a way that we would fulfill the scripture that says, "No greater love has any man than this, that he would lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

I can't wait for the next semester of LGG to start - especially with the study we'll be doing - "One Month To Live". I hope you are signed up for one of the many groups being offered.